A Duck On Swan Lake
by Quen-celebrin
Summary: After Mytho returned to the story, Fakir and Ahiru were left alone together-one as a man, the other as a duck. Neither of them was quite happy, but Fakir found he couldn't write the girl Ahiru back. But there just might be another way...
1. Prologue: Alone Together

The wedding was the hardest part.

It was beautiful, yes, and Ahiru and Fakir were happy for them. Ahiru cried so much that she soaked the bandage on Fakir's arm clean through, and she thought that his eyes seemed a little overbright as well. But it was a small wedding, and it was short—Rue and Mytho—or, properly, Siegfried—just wanted to be officially married in Gold Crown Town with their friends before they went on to his palace. Really, the only other person there was the priest, with Ahiru and Fakir as witnesses. So it was not long before Rue and My—Siegfried—left, and Ahiru and Fakir were able to go home.

And Ahiru was able to admit that she was crying for herself as well.

She was happy for them, yes—she was _happy_! But to be there, in the warmth of Fakir's arms, and to know that—that that would never be _them_. He would always be with her, she knew, but it seemed so cruel. To finally discover love in herself—the kind she had thought she had for Mytho and that Rue had actually _had—_and then to watch it slip away. He would be with her, but he could never be _with_ her.

_Our true selves_, she thought. _If my true self is just a duck, why do I feel...?_

But the sun rose and set, weeks and months passed, and her resentment began to fade. Maybe she truly _was _just a duck. It was nice not to worry about school or anything like that—she spent her days swimming and sunning and sleeping, and more importantly, she spent them with Fakir. He read to her, he held her, he talked to her as he had never talked even to the girl she had been. At night she slept on the pillow beside his head, with a blanket the size of a handkerchief when the wind blew icily around the house.

And she was happy.

* * *

As time passed, the sharp agony of regret and disappointment faded to a dull ache.

Fakir missed Ahiru, the girl. His friend. The one he loved. But little Ahiru was still with him, and maybe it was better that way. Less complicated. After all, it was the little duck who had first seen a side of him that he usually kept hidden. Maybe it was fate.

But Fakir had always hated the idea of fate.

It was all right. She was with him, and she was safe. And she was happy. That was all that mattered. And most of the time, he was happy too. There was so much that they still could share—and did. One obstacle that they had expected was the difficulty in communicating—after all, now that she was a duck again she had lost the power of human speech. But somehow, ever since they had helped Mytho—er, Sigfried—to end his story, he had been able to hear her thoughts. Not every thought, but somehow she was still able to deliberately broadcast what she was thinking to him, and he was still able to hear her.

Even without that, though, they probably would have been all right. He had gotten pretty good at deciphering her quacking from her tone and expression, and if that failed there was always mime. Mime... he still remembered that day. After the incident with—what was his name? Fernando? Oh, yes, Femio.

"_Say, Fakir," she said suddenly. And with a grace that Ahiru's dance did not usually possess, she raised her arms and swept them slowly into the mime for 'I love you.' And the look in her eyes—it was so gentle as to be almost tragic._

She was referring to Mytho's unexpected resurfacing, of course. But for just a moment, he felt his heart beating double time, just enough to burn a faint flush across his cheekbones. For just a moment, he had imagined what it would be like if that mime had been meant for him...

* * *

Things were different now. He knew now that she _did_ love him. She knew all too well how much he loved her. And more than anything they both knew that their chance was gone.

She had asked him, once.

_~S-say, Fakir~ she thought shyly._

"_Yes?"_

_~Don't you think you could... write something... one more time?~_

"_Write something?" His voice sounded huskier than normal._

_~A story... for me. For us. Don't you miss—?~_

_He said nothing, and she trailed off into mental silence._

_~Fakir?~_

"_No," he said finally. "We made a promise, remember?"_

To be our true selves_, she thought, but only to herself. And she did not cry until she was out of the room._

And she never told him that she had seen him that night, with his pen shaking in his hand and tears running down his face onto the blank paper on the desk in front of him. But that night, instead of sleeping on the pillow, she curled up next to his heart and let him hold her—or maybe she let herself be held. And if the next morning his nightshirt or her feathers were salt-stained from tears, neither of them mentioned it to the other.


	2. Chapter 1: Spellbound

For the first time since Prince Sigfried's story had ended just over a year ago, Ahiru was going back to Gold Crown Academy. Oh, not as a student, of course. Not even Fakir knew she was going. But she had to see it—had to see what had been worth saving at the cost of her love.

It was a bit different. Hermia-san and Lysander-san, among others, had graduated. And of course there were no more animals. Most of them had turned back into the humans they had originally been, but a few turned out to have been animals all along. Like poor Neko-sensei! Well, he was finally married, and his wife was expecting her second litter of kittens. Ahiru couldn't help smiling as she thought of him.

After she had spent most of the morning spying as inconspicuously as she was able, she dared to go and see the ballet students. She almost didn't have the nerve—she missed dancing more than almost anything else. Ahiru didn't know if she could bear to see Pike and Lilie and everyone dancing on pointe without her—without even knowing she should have been there. But in the end her curiosity was stronger than her fear.

She found a place at a window where she was pretty well hidden by a girl with light brown hair, but could still see around the studio. Since everyone was seated along one edge of the room, she guessed that they were having either a test or a demonstration.

"Now, everyone," said the ballet instructor, who was now a middle-aged woman with curly black hair and sparkling green eyes, "settle down." She looked especially at two girls with their heads bent together, one pink and one shiningly blond.

_Pike and Lilie!_ Ahiru realized. Still talking in class. She missed them sometimes. They could be rather mean and were always overwhelming, but... they had been her friends.

"Now let's have one of our seniors demonstrate for us," the ballet instructor was saying. "Fakir-san, why don't you—?"

Ahiru started in surprise. This she had not been expecting. Well, with Mytho gone, Fakir was probably the best of the male dancers, but she had not seen... In the year since everything had ended, Ahiru had not even tried to dance once. And she had never seen Fakir dance. He practiced only at school, and rarely talked about it at home—mostly, as she correctly surmised, because he did not want to hurt her by reminding her of what she had lost.

She felt her heart begin pounding in anticipation as he stood and brushed his heavy black hair out of his face... And he danced.

She had forgotten the sheer beauty of ballet—and of Fakir as well. Every well-defined muscle was pushed to its limit, but he made it look effortless. Had she _ever_ seen him dance like this before? But his face was expressionless. Her heart ached to watch him.

And then he faltered for the briefest moment, looking toward her window. Had he seen her? But her attention was diverted as he suddenly changed his routine. Everyone watched in silent confusion. His dance suddenly seemed awkward, unnatural—and then a sea of gasps and whispers spread through the corps as they realized what he was doing.

Fakir was dancing a pas de deux.

Alone.

* * *

It was not much of a surprise for Fakir. True, he had not known she planned to follow him to school, but it had been obvious that she was planning _something_ unusual. And he had always had the feeling that she did not quite understand the concept of 'stealth.' He didn't actually see her until the afternoon, though.

He noticed her as soon as he stood to give a demonstration for the newer students. She was 'hiding' behind one of the student's heads—one of the younger girls, whose name he did not know. Even if it weren't for the one long feather that swayed on the top of her head, she kept bending around to peek out at the room. _Stupid_, he thought with affectionate chagrin.

And, almost without thinking about it, his dance changed. Since it was half-unconscious, he danced for several moments before he realized what he was dancing. It was a pas de deux. And he was dancing it alone. And as he realized what he was doing, his expressions caught up with his dancing.

He was dancing for Ahiru. _Nothing has changed. Nothing important. I still need you. Just because you've gone back to being a duck doesn't mean... I will never stop needing you. And I will never stop supporting you, either._ He saw her watching in shocked silence until he reached up to catch his imaginary partner as she fell from her highest jump—then she turned and fled. But not before he saw the tears sparkling in her wide blue eyes.

* * *

Ahiru ran without seeing, without thinking. All she saw was a vision of Fakir, his arms stretching upward to his imaginary partner. _Me_. Why—of all dances—had he chosen that one? The pas de deux that she herself had danced to prove her love to Mytho and regain his feeling of love? There was no way he could have known. She was pretty sure she had never told him. But to see him—_how_ could he have known?

And were they fated to dance alone for the rest of their lives?

She was so distracted and distraught that she ran right out of the town gates, into the surrounding countryside. She did not notice the way her breathing grew ragged and her feet numbed with exhaustion, and she did not stop until she crashed right into a pair of tall leather boots.

"Well, well," said a pleasant tenor voice. "What have we here?"

Ahiru cautiously took a few steps back and stared up at the face the voice belonged to.

He was a tall man, and muscular, but he stood strangely with his shoulders slightly forward and his head cocked down at an angle. He looked down at her with keen yellow eyes, and his curly brown hair fell down over his shoulders with the force of his interest. A smile curved the unusually full lips under his hooked nose, narrowing his narrow eyes further. Ahiru would have had to call him handsome, but something about her unsettled him. He reminded her of a hawk, and she imagined that a small duck would be very easy prey for a hawk.

He was still staring at her. His smile widened. "A duck crying? I certainly haven't seen that before. What could a little duck possibly have to cry about?"

~Plenty~ Ahiru thought sourly.

"Oh, really?" the man asked. "Try me."

~Well, I'm sort of—Wait, what? You can hear me?~ she replied, shocked.

"Yes, actually. Surprised?"

~Yes! The only one who can hear me...~ She trailed off, somehow reluctant—or afraid—to mention Fakir to this frightening stranger.

"Well, little duck, you're the first of your kind that I've ever seen crying. Are you a princess under an enchantment or something of that sort?"

~N-no... not exactly. I mean, I'm not a princess! I'm not really anything special at all, I just—So, you know—But I used to be—Once...~ Ahiru thought frantically, confused by the question and the attention.

"Well..." The stranger paused, looking at her as though she were something he rather wanted to buy. "Would you like to be human, little duck?"

~Yes!~ The thought was out before she considered what the consequences might be.

"Really." The man's tone was thoughtful. "Come with me, then."

And Ahiru followed him.

She was not sure later whether she had followed him for seconds, minutes, or hours—it could have been centuries except that she was back home by the next morning. At any rate, after they had walked for a while, they arrived at their destination. It was a lake in the middle of a dark forest. The ruins of a castle bled red and gold in the light of the sunset around them. Ahiru shivered. The lake brought back memories—the hidden lake where she and Fakir had fought Princess Kraehe, the Lake of Despair where Fakir had helped her give up the prince's last heart shard...

Ahiru wished Fakir was with her now. She was afraid. The man turned to her, and pointed upward. She followed his finger to the rising moon.

"Swim out on the lake," he told her.

Trembling, she obeyed, treading water a few yards out from the shore.

"Farther," he told her. "Swim until the moonlight reflected in the lake touches the tips of your wings."

She swam until she was almost at the center of the lake, and paused just outside the silver-white circle of moonlight, shining and wavering on the water's surface like a living thing. Then, hesitantly, she paddled forward.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then the spell hit her, like a bolt striking her to the core. She felt a sensation flooding through her body, as though her blood had turned to ice-cold fire. The agony pulsed and sparkled through her tiny body—stretching, spreading, destroying and creating and changing.

And then a relief that itself was almost painful in its intensity flashed through her from her forehead to her fingertips to her—wait, fingertips? She held out her hands before her and promptly splashed all the way into the water.

She swam toward the shore so she could see herself, cautiously monitoring her sensations in an attempt to discover—yes, she definitely had fingers. Ten fingers and ten toes. Ears. A nose. A mouth that she was very careful to keep closed as she swam. And finally she reached the shore. _It really worked! _she thought to herself. _I'm a girl again!_ And she looked down at the water, full of excitement and anticipation. She saw her reflection.

Ahiru screamed.

"What have you done to me?" she yelped.

"Turned you into a human," the stranger said mildly. "Complaints?"

"I—I—But, I—I don't look like me!" Ahiru wailed, still staring at her face in the water. Her face and features, her figure, were roughly the same as they had been. She had the same large blue eyes. But her hair, coursing down her naked back in waves almost to her feet, was a brilliant yellow-gold. And she was beautiful.

"Of course you look different," the man said calmly. "You were a duck. Now you are a human girl. There are a few differences."

"But—when I was human before..." Ahiru broke off, still staring at herself in dismay.

"You were human before?" the hawklike man asked, showing interest once again.

"Yes, and I was... shorter. And I had straight red hair. And freckles. And I was flat-chested. And I wasn't—I wasn't pretty! I was just a normal girl. Now I look..."

"Beautiful? Allow me to explain. You are well-proportioned as a duck, so I allowed that to translate into a well-proportioned body for a girl between about thirteen and sixteen. You have yellow feathers, hence the blonde hair. You are quite attractive for a duck, so I made you attractive as a young woman." He paused for a moment and sighed. "If you miss your freckles..." He flicked two fingers in her direction, and as she continued to stare at her reflection, she saw pale golden-brown freckles scatter across her nose and cheekbones. Even they were beautiful—they seemed almost to sparkle in the moonlight.

"So you can't... change me.. back to the way I was?" Ahiru ventured cautiously.

"I could. But I will not," the man answered coolly. "Are you so unhappy with your human body?"

"N-no! Not at all! I mean, I didn't mean to seem ungrateful, I just—It feels strange, but—Uh..." She took a deep breath to calm herself. "Thank you, uh—"

"Roth," he supplied, seeming amused.

"Thank you very much, Roth-san," Ahiru repeated.

He raised one thick eyebrow. "I am not sure you should be thanking me yet," he said.

"Huh?"

He smiled coolly as he continued, "You seem to be under the impression that this is, ah... A free deal. You are mistaken."

The look in his yellow eyes chilled Ahiru to the bone. "Wh-what do you mean?"

"There are certain... conditions... to your humanity. For example—" Once again, he gestured to the sky and then to the moonlight reflected in the water. It was almost dawn, and the moon's reflection had moved all the way to the far edge of the lake. Ahiru watched in fascination as the circle of light slowly disappeared from the water.

And then the pain, the bright, ice-cold, sparkling agony, hit her again. Several agonizing minutes later, she lay panting on the shore, a duck once more.

"For example," Roth continued as though nothing had happened, "You will remain human only as long as the moon is reflected in the lake. You need not stay on the lake, but you must touch the moonlight from the water each night to take advantage of that night's moonlight. As you have seen, you will turn back into a duck the moment the moon's reflection leaves the water."

~B-but...~ Ahiru thought in protest. _What's the point of that, then?_

"However..." He rewarded her with another of his unsettling smiles. "Since I have taken a fancy to you, I will allow you to become permanently human."

~Really?~

"Yes. I will give you two options. First, you may agree to marry me."

~What?~ Ahiru, shocked, remembered the days at Gold Crown Academy when Neko-sensei had threatened her with marriage at least once each class. ~Marry you?~

"Yes. If the idea is... unappealing to you, you have one other option. If you can find a man who loves you truly, who will swear a vow of everlasting love to you—and if you make your own vow in return—you will be a human girl for the rest of your life."

~Everlasting... love?~ Ahiru thought of Fakir, and she blushed. _Would he make the vow? Do I want him to? _She blushed harder as she realized that the answer to both questions was 'yes.' _I want to be with him._

"Oh, and... of course, you may not speak of this to anyone," Roth added casually.

_Not speak of this?_ Ahiru thought, momentarily dumbfounded. _Oh, but I suppose that doesn't matter. I can just tell him that I'm Ahiru, and I'm sure he'll..._

"One more thing," Roth said, and there was laughter in his voice. "You won't be able to mention your other self in either body. You don't mind, do you?"

~S-so I can't—?~ Ahiru thought in shock. ~Y-yes, I do mind...~

But before she could finish, Roth was gone, his laughter still ringing darkly through the trees.


	3. Chapter 2: Enter Odette

By the time Ahiru finally stumbled home at about four-thirty in the morning, Fakir was frantic. He had looked everywhere, but to no avail for her. He had called for her until his voice was hoarse, and then he had kept calling. When she collapsed just inside the door, he shouted with the ragged remains of his voice, then he held her very tightly while he determinedly did _not_ cry.

~I'm sorry, Fakir~ Ahiru thought softly. ~I didn't realize that...~

"Idiot," he said shakily. "Where were you?"

~I was...~ Ahiru began, prepared to ignore Roth's injunction against speaking of the curse, but she found that her thoughts stopped short before she could say anything. ~I was running, and I met...~ She shook her head vigorously and tried again. ~I...~ It was no use. She could not tell him. ~I... got lost~ she said at last.

"Well, you're all right now," Fakir said. He hesitated, then added, "I'm sorry if I... upset you. This afternoon. I didn't mean to—"

~It's all right, Fakir. It wasn't your fault. I was... being silly~

"How so?" he persisted.

~Well, I just... you know what happened on the hidden lake, don't you? After you...~ She gulped, still shaken at the thought of his brush with death.

"You danced, right? To show the prince your love without disappearing. You danced... a pas de deux," he said slowly. "Alone."

She nodded. ~Do you know what I danced?~ she asked.

"I... don't know."

~It was... the same pas de deux that you danced. Yesterday~ She was not looking at Fakir as she thought it, but she heard his sharp intake of breath.

But all he said was, "I see." Then he rose, picking her up gently. "We should get some sleep. You look exhausted."

~You too~ she thought back at him.

He laughed. "I'm fine," he reassured her, although his voice was still almost nonexistent and his hair had apparently slipped from its usual ponytail long before. And when they got into bed, he fell asleep almost as quickly as she did.

* * *

Ahiru was woken a few hours later by Fakir tripping over his pant leg and falling with a loud thump and a muttered oath.

~Where are you going?~ she thought sleepily.

"School," he rasped out.

~What?~ Her eyes flew wide open in alarm at the sound of his voice. ~You can't! You can barely stand, let alone talk or dance!~

"I'm fine," he growled.

~No, you're not!~ Ahiru fluttered up to his eye level and hovered in front of his face. ~Please, Fakir. Be reasonable. What's so important that you can't miss one day?~

He opened her mouth to protest, but stopped when she added, ~Please, Fakir?~ She blushed as she thought seriously ~I don't want to be alone today. I'm scared~

"I—Oh, all right." He looked at her intently, a concerned frown on his face. "Did you really just get lost last night? You were gone a long time. Did it really scare you that much?"

~Last night, I...~ Once again, she was forced to trail off into mental silence when she tried to tell him about Roth and his spell. ~Yes~ she thought simply.

And so they spent that day together. They slept through most of the morning, and then treated the rest of the day as if it were Sunday, with nothing important to do. And Ahiru tried to think of a way to let Fakir know about the spell—to somehow get him to meet her as a human and swear the vow.

They were sitting outside the pizza parlor when a pretty blonde girl walked past. And suddenly Ahiru knew how to go about it.

~Don't you get lonely?~ she asked Fakir.

"Lonely? Idiot. What are you talking about? I've got you, don't I?"

~Yes, but... What about other humans?~ she insisted.

"I don't know what you're getting at. I'm fine, Ahiru!"

She hesitated for a moment, then asked ~Would you visit someone for me?~

He looked at her suspiciously. "Visit someone? Who? And why?"

~Please. That person is lonely. I can't talk, but you can. Please?~

He frowned at her, but then he sighed in resignation. He wasn't nearly as hard-hearted as he still pretended to be. "Oh, all right. Where is this person?"

~Go tonight~ she told him. And she instructed him on how to get to the lake, giving him a rather roundabout path so that she could leave after him and still get there first.

She had originally wanted to go there with him so he could see her transform and know the truth, but she had felt a strange sort of pressure in her mind as she tried to plan it. She imagined she could hear Roth's darkly amused voice, "It won't be that easy, little duck." So she hoped that somehow, between her persuasions as a duck and her charms as a human, she could make him fall in love with the pretty blonde girl she had a chance to become.

* * *

Fakir did not really want to leave Ahiru alone that night, but at her insistence he left obediently about an hour before nightfall. The moon rose as he walked, and at long last he arrived at the lake by the ruins.

At first he did not see anyone, but then a figure emerged from the trees at the lake's edge, a figure with flowing blonde hair and a flowing white silk gown. A girl! What was Ahiru trying to do?

"Hey," Fakir said harshly. "Are you the one Ahiru sent me to meet?"

"Yes, I guess so," she said softly.

"Why?" he asked her. Why had Ahiru sent him to meet this pretty girl? Was she trying to get him to give her some space, or something?

She shrugged. "I suppose she thought I might want someone to talk to."

He grew irritated. "But why me?"

"I don't know. How many human friends can one duck have?"

_Right. No one else can talk to her like I can. _"Oh. I, ah... I'm sorry," he muttered. He glanced up at the sky. "I should go."

She looked surprised, upset. "Al-already? But you only got here... Please stay for a while—"

"It's late," Fakir protested. "Shouldn't you be getting home?"

She shrugged, a rueful smile on her face. "Actually, this _is_ my home."

Fakir looked from the girl to the lake and back. "_This_ is your home?"

She nodded.

"Well, I... I have to get back to Ahiru now. But I'll..." He hesitated, deciding. "I'll come back tomorrow night." He smiled slightly. "And maybe you can tell me how you came to live at a lake instead of in a town."

She still seemed reluctant to see him go, but she seemed resigned. She nodded sadly. "Sure."

Something in her eyes tugged at his heart. Before he turned to go, he took a step closer, took her hand, and kissed it. "I'll be back. Don't worry." _Why do I feel like... I want to protect her?_ he wondered to himself.

But he left immediately after that, so he did not see her blush and then shyly cradle her hand, brushing the back of it tenderly as if his kiss was a tangible thing.

* * *

Ahiru was still human when she arrived home—and she was still trembling. He had kissed her! On the hand, yes, but that was the very first time. And he hadn't even known it was her. What did that mean?

If she had not know Fakir so well, she might have been anxious, but she did know him. And so she only admired his natural gentleness—he had not known her, had in fact been annoyed that he had to meet her at all, but he had been sympathetic. Kind. Ahiru sighed. He was still a true knight, in every good sense of the word.

Time passed, and Ahiru began to wonder if she would still be human when Fakir arrived home. Was that possible? That would certainly make things much easier. But, as if Roth himself had sped the sunrise, Ahiru transformed back into a duck moments before she heard the door swing open downstairs and Fakir came up to bed.

When he walked into the room, he found Ahiru already asleep on the pillow. But instead of being on her usual side, she had curled up in the indent left by Fakir's head. He smiled slightly and got in on the other side of the bed. For a few moments, he just lay there, watching the little duck.

"You _were_ lonely, weren't you?" he whispered softly. "But it was still more important to you that someone should go and see your friend. Stupid." For a while he said nothing, then he murmured, "That's one reason why..." But he flushed in the darkness and said nothing else before he fell asleep.

* * *

But Ahiru could not sleep much that night. She was thinking about the spell—curse? enchantment? It was so strange to be human again at last, but to be so... different. Would Fakir love her new human self? Did she really want him to? And she wondered what would happen if he did pledge his everlasting love to her. She knew that she would willingly make her own vow to him, but then what? Would she ever be able to tell him that she was really his Ahiru?

And... what if... he found out that she was Ahiru, but he had fallen so deeply in love with the blonde girl that he did not want to be with her anymore once she found out? What if he forgot all about the little yellow duck, and didn't even look for her when he realized that she was gone? _Why_ did this all have to be so complicated?

For a couple of agonizing hours, she thought about ignoring the spell. She would only turn into a human girl if she was on lake each night at moonrise. She could stay at home with Fakir and pretend nothing had ever happened. Ahiru was used to being just a duck, wasn't she?

But thoughts, memories of the past couple of days flooded her mind. Fakir dancing, beautiful... alone. The kiss he had given her as a human girl. He had not stayed with her for long, but just... _being_ with him was amazing. To be several inches shorter than he was, not several feet. She still could not tell him everything that had happened, but that didn't matter so much. More than anything, she wanted to dance with him again. She thought maybe, just maybe, if they could dance together again, everything would be alright. Somehow. She could get used to her new body. And maybe he would—somehow—remember... But really she just wanted to be close to him. She looked at him, asleep next to her, and she imagined sleeping next to him as a human girl, waking up next to him and saying 'Good morning' in a human voice.

And she knew that she had to take this chance, however small it might be. _Because I love you_. All she could do now was pray that somehow everything would work out all right.

Oh, and manage to somehow make him fall in love with her human self. Which, if he loved her—er, _had_ loved her—as much as she knew he did, would not be an easy task. Thinking of Roth's other conditions, she wondered if she had some kind of time limit. And it was quickly becoming awkward to refer to the blonde girl as 'her human self' in her thoughts and 'her lonely friend' to Fakir. She should probably come up with a name for her.

But that was awkward, too. She was beginning to feel like the girl was a completely different person. Perhaps that could not be helped. She would just have to hope that those confusions would go away when Fakir... Anyway, her human self needed a name. Something just a little too obvious. Something that might make Fakir wonder if that was her real name, or whether there was more to her than met the eye.

The choice was obvious, of course. She would be Odette. She laughed inwardly. Instead of a princess who turned into a swan, she was just a duck who had gained a chance—however slim—to be a princess. Or rather, a knight's lady. Which she found greatly preferable. She brushed Fakir's cheek with the tip of one wing.

And for the very first time, she dared to let herself think to think those three most dangerous words—_I love you_.


	4. Chapter 3: Memories

The next morning—or the same morning? Ahiru was not able to keep Fakir from going to school. Now this might be a problem. He had to be at the lake every night from moonrise to sunrise in order to fall in love with Odette so he could make the vow, but then he had to go to school after sleeping for only a few hours. She knew he would never complain, but—oh, who was she kidding? She would always worry about him too much. But after everything they'd been through, who could blame her?

She had not slept at all, so she was there to greet him as soon as he got up. ~Good morning, Fakir~ she thought brightly, hiding her concern as well as she was able. ~Did you sleep well?~

"Well enough," he shrugged.

~When did you get back? I'm sorry I wasn't able to wait up...~ Ahiru lied guiltily.

"It's fine. The sun was rising by the time I got home. Is your friend nocturnal or something?"

~Uh... something like that~

Fakir raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh. And why the hell does she live out by that lake?"

~Because she's..." Ahiru thought as quickly as she could, but she still could not mention the curse. ~I mean, I don't think it's her first choice. But it could be worse. Odette doesn't mind too much, but she gets lonely there by herself~

"Odette? _That's_ her name?" Fakir asked suddenly, frowning.

~D-didn't I tell you?~ Ahiru thought. _Darn it. I should have thought of this first. Oh, well._

"No, idiot. Although I didn't think to ask either. She seems pretty... strange."

Ahiru couldn't read his expression. ~So... you don't like her?~

"I didn't say that!" Fakir said angrily.

_So he does like her? _Ahiru sighed to herself. _Fakir is so confusing when he's trying not to seem nice. But anyway, just liking her isn't enough. He has to _love_ her. _That was a sobering thought. _Did_ she want him to love Odette? _He just... he _has_ to. And then... _She shook her head fiercely, trying to get rid of her doubts, until she realized that Fakir was staring at her.

"Uh, Ahiru? Are you all right?"

Ahiru blushed. ~Y-y-yes, I'm just f-fine! Wonderful! Uh... great!~

"Stupid," he said, but his tone was indulgent, not annoyed. "See you after school."

~Mm-hm. Have a good day, Fakir~

He tossed a smile over his shoulder on his way out the door, and then he was gone.

_This is why I need to be human! I don't care how, I just... This isn't my true form! This can't be how it was supposed to end. _Ahiru felt her eyes tearing up. _I just want to be with you, Fakir. More than anything. So... fall in love with Odette. Please. And... just... forget me. _Then she really did cry. Maybe there was another way, but how was a little duck supposed to figure it out?

* * *

Fakir was distracted all that day, thinking about Ahiru and her friend... Odette. That was a rather strange name. And she was a strange girl. How had Ahiru met her, anyway? And why could he only see her at night? Was she a vampire or something? He supposed he should just tell Ahiru that he didn't want to visit Odette anymore—once had been more than enough, thanks. But he had promised...

Come to think of it, why _had_ he promised to come back? Just because she complained when he tried to leave? But... something... about her felt familiar. And her eyes... Fakir had a rather awkward moment when he suddenly stood up in the middle of class and gasped in surprise. He ignored the stares, wrapped up in his private revelation. Her eyes were so much like... Ahiru's. _She_ was the one Odette reminded him of. Had Ahiru seen the resemblance, too? Were they... related, or something?

Maybe he was just seeing things. _I miss her, so... I see her?_ He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. _It's not fair to Odette to compare her to Ahiru. But... _why_ was it so important to Ahiru that he visit Odette? _"Damn it, _why_?" he muttered.

The teacher started to scold him for talking in class, but Fakir just got up and left. He had more important things to think about.

* * *

At first Fakir had thought that he would just wander the town and think, but before he knew it his feet had carried him back home. _I have to talk to her. I have to know. _He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. _But exactly what is it that I have to know?_

Ahiru was outside on the lake, as she usually was. She looked up in surprise when Fakir appeared, looking annoyed and serious, as usual, and—more unusually—confused.

~Uh... Hi, Fakir. How was school?~ she asked tentatively.

He ignored her question. "Why?" he demanded.

~Wh-why what?~ she stammered, but she was pretty sure she knew.

"Why did you send me to meet Odette? How do you know her? Who is she? Why did you send _me_? Why do you care? Why should _I_ care?" he exploded.

Ahiru blinked and looked away. _I wish I could tell you_, she thought sadly. ~Because she's lonely, Fakir. I can't talk to her myself, but she's _lonely_~

"But why didn't you find someone—" Fakir began, but Ahiru interrupted him.

~Even if I could talk to anyone else, I would still want it to be you~

Fakir raised his eyebrows, repeating the question silently this time.

~I want it to be you because...~ Ahiru paused, not sure how much she could—or should—say to him. ~Because... you're lonely, too~

"I'm—" Fakir choked out the first word, then blushed and took a long step away from her. "I'm _what_?"

~How could you _not_ be lonely?~ Ahiru asked sharply, her concern and hesitation quickly turning to irritation. ~You live with a _duck_! You barely talk to anyone but me! Do you even _have _any human friends? Am I really the _only _person you open up to?~

Fakir took a defensive half-step forward. "That's ridiculous! Who cares if you're a duck? Why do I need friends anymore? I did just fine before I met you!"

~When you lived to protect Mytho and didn't care about anyone else? When you acted mean even to _him_? You were doing _just fine_?~

"Yes, I was! I don't need friends, and I sure don't need your freaky charity case!"

~Freaky charity case?~ Ahiru thought coldly. _Oh, maybe this is all hopeless after all. Fakir, why can't you see—why can't you just _admit_ that you're lonely? I know _I _am._

Fakir drew in a deep breath and then let it out slowly. "Sorry. That was out of line. But, Ahiru... are you seriously trying to... set me up?"

Ahiru blushed bright red through her feathers. ~S-set you up? Uh, um, er, what makes you say that? I mean, just because she's really pretty, and, uh, I mean, that is...~

Fakir rolled his eyes. "That would be a yes." He paused and then sighed. "If you had to find me someone, why couldn't it at least have been a guy?"

Ahiru stared at him and then grinned. He would keep visiting Odette. Not that she was surprised. She had known that he would never be able to abandon someone who needed him. _Odette needs him. He needs someone to protect. And I doubt a _pet duck_ is what he needs_.

* * *

That night Ahiru went out to the lake early, because she wanted to try something. She arrived about an hour before moonrise and stood on the shore's edge. Then she paused, not sure exactly what to do.

~Uh, hello?~ she thought tentatively. ~Roth-san?~

He appeared from behind a tree as if he had walked straight through it. Maybe he had. Ahiru shivered. "Yes, little duck? What do you want?"

~W-well... You know how last night you left me a dress to wear?~

"Yes?"

~I was... was wondering... Do you think I could have a leotard? And ballet shoes?~

"A duck who dances?" Roth sounded intrigued, and more than a little amused. "Certainly." He withdrew the items requested from beneath his long brown cape. Both were of the same material as the dress—a shimmering silvery blue-white silk that looked like it was made of moonbeams reflecting off a rippling lake. And perhaps it was.

Roth glanced up at the sky. "Moon's rising, little duck. It's showtime."

Ahiru swam out to the lake quickly, and she almost succeeding in ignoring the pain of the transformation as she thought of the gifts waiting for her on the shore. Then she swam back quickly and pulled on the leotard and shoes.

"How long have you been a ballerina, little duck?" Roth asked curiously.

"I, uh... For a while, sort of. But I haven't danced at all in a year," Odette explained. She cautiously moved her feet into first position and then did an experimental plie and releve. Then she began some of the exercises she had done in classes at Kinkan Academy. She did all right for a while, but it was not long before she tripped and started to mess up. "Darn it." She blushed in embarrassment. "I guess I have a lot of practicing to do before..."

"Before what?"

"I, uh... There's someone coming tonight, and I was hoping that maybe... But I won't be ready for a while." She smiled as she remembered the first pas de deux they had danced together. "Not that he'll really care if I'm any good or not." She glanced up at the sky. "He should be here soon." She slipped behind the tree by the lake where she had folded the dress the night before and quickly changed out of the leotard and slippers.

Roth stood frowning at her when she reappeared. "You found someone pretty quickly."

"Well, I—I sort of, I mean..." _Not good! What if he decides he made it too easy for me?_ "I guess I—I'm _trying_ to make him fall in love with me, but I don't know... I—I think he's in love with someone else!"

Roth raised one eyebrow, intrigued once more. "Really? This should be interesting, then." And almost before he finished speaking, he was gone in a swirl of his cloak.

As if on cue, Fakir appeared at the opposite edge of the clearing. "Odette?" he called.

She had to clap both hands over her mouth to keep from calling out his name. He hadn't actually told her, and she should not be able to speak to the duck Ahiru. Technically she hadn't told him her name either, but...

Fakir spotted her and walked over. There was a hint of red in his cheeks. "Uh... hello."

Odette felt herself blushing in return. "H-hello, um..." She trailed off, waiting for his name.

He looked at her for a moment, obviously confused, and then he really did blush. "I... didn't tell you my name, did I?"

She shook her head negatively.

"Uh, sorry. I'm Fakir." He took a deep breath and then went on, "And I'm sorry for last night. I was... unkind to you."

_He apologized! _she thought delightedly. "Oh no, really, it's fine. I'm just glad you came! I mean, it must have been a... a bit of a surprise for you. And I... I know I'm strange."

"Not really," Fakir contradicted.

Odette couldn't help gasping, and almost laughing. How could he have known that that was exactly what Mytho had said to her a lifetime ago? _I guess this time I can't really say that no one's ever said that to me before_. "Well, thank you," she said shyly.

Fakir looked at her for a moment before he said, "Sure," almost as if it was a question. He looked away. "Can I ask you something?"

"Ask? Um, er, I—sure," Odette said nervously. _I hope he doesn't ask something I can't answer. And Roth was starting to worry he made this too _easy_?_

"How do you know Ahiru?" Fakir asked calmly.

_Oh, great_, Odette thought. _He's trying to get information out of both of us. We're the same person, Fakir! I've told you everything I can!_ She thought for a while before answering. "I met her here at the lake. I was..." _How much can I push him? How much will Roth let me hint at it? Well... I might as well try... _"I was crying, actually." She did not see the expression on his face, but she heard his sharp intake of breath. "Because I felt... alone. And then I looked up, and there was this little duck sitting there..." She paused and dared to look up at him. "And she... she was crying, too." She caught one glimpse of Fakir's haunted eyes before he turned quickly away from her.

For several long moments, he said nothing. He barely even moved. But eventually he said, softly, "That sounds like something she would do."

Odette wished he would let her see him. More than anything she wanted to hold him, but... _Oh, what's the point of having arms if I can't even...? But it doesn't matter. I just have to hurry up and make him fall in love with me._

But when Fakir still did not move from where he stood, she took a step toward him almost without noticing. She reached out hesitantly and touched his shoulder with one hand. "Fakir?"

He tensed as he felt her touch, but he did not pull away. "It's not your fault," he said roughly. "What you said just... brought back memories. That I would prefer to forget."

"To forget?" she repeated. "I think... I think everything is worth remembering. The happy things and the painful things. Memories make us who we are."

And finally he turned to face her, his eyes bright and intense. "Who we...?" He raised one hand as if he would touch her face, then dropped it. "You know, you're so much like—" He broke off and shook his head slightly.

"Like who?" she asked, still pushing. _Just a little more. I—I know it hurts. Please forgive me, Fakir. I just want us to be happy. Together. I _know_ it hurts._

"I—just a girl. A girl I used to know."

_Me_, Odette thought. _Ahiru. I'm glad you remember her, but now... I need you to forget her. Forever._


	5. Interlude: Moments

"I'm sorry about... last time," Fakir said when he returned the next day. "I wasn't being very fair."

"It's all right," Odette reassured him. "You're here now, aren't you?"

Fakir looked somewhat startled, as if he was only now realizing this himself.

"Fakir?" Odette probed cautiously. "Do you... do you not _want_ to be here?"

"No, that's not it, I just—" He stared at her, still with that look of epiphany written across his face. "I _do _want to be here."

Odette smiled at him, a smile that seemed to light up her already-beautiful face. "Well, that's all that matters then. Right?"

And Fakir, mesmerized by the rising color in her cheeks, could only nod.

* * *

~Well, how did it go?~ Ahiru asked sleepily.

"Fine, I guess," Fakir said nonchalantly. But there was a smile hiding in the deep places of his voice.

_He _does_ like her! _Ahiru thought triumphantly. _Maybe this will all work out after all._ But it took far to much work to make herself return his smile.

* * *

Odette raised her leg, muscles trembling as she struggled to keep it straight. _Come on, legs! Work with me here!_ she thought in exasperation. A vague memory came to her of seeing Fakir... dance? Or maybe he was just stretching... She couldn't remember. But she thought of his iron control and looked up with a smile as she switched to the other leg. _I can do this!_ And then her smile softened and her leg wavered for just a moment. _If it's for Fakir, I can do this.

* * *

_

Fakir was sitting in class, bored with listening to the teacher explaining things he already knew. His mind wandered to Odette almost before he had realized it. His mental eye drifted over Odette's long blonde hair. And he found himself wondering if it was as soft as Ahiru's had been—if her hand in his would feel just as small and as strong. _No_, he told himself for the millionth time. _Forget Ahiru_. And for the first time he succeeded.

* * *

Ahiru sat quietly on her pillow and watched Fakir as he slept. She had been up as late as he had, of course, but since she was only a duck, she had all day to nap. She preferred to spend her time alone with him and her thoughts and catch up on sleep during the day. _When did you become my whole life? _she wondered. _This whole human thing... Odette and the enchantment and everything. It's funny that I'm doing it for you but it will probably mean that you'll stop being my _whole life_. I'll be able to make friends again, and dance, and... You may not be my _whole_ life, Fakir, but you'll always be the best part. Always.

* * *

_

"So how long have you lived by the lake?" Fakir asked her one night.

"I—" Odette paused. Why was his question so hard to answer? "I've... always... lived here," she said at last. Because she had. Hadn't she? It didn't sound quite right, but... she wasn't sure why.

Fakir frowned. "What about your family? Friends? Do you have _anyone_?"

Odette knew from the tone of his voice that she should say _yes_. That there _should _be someone, anyone. So why couldn't she think of them? Images flashed through her mind—a boy with white hair and lonely eyes. A girl with dark hair and a quiet grace and a heart that was almost too big for her body. A pond that reflected back the face of a little yellow duck. And Fakir. They all seemed so familiar, but...

"Odette?" Fakir asked gently, showing concern for the first time.

But for some reason she couldn't look at him, and for the first and only time it was _she_ who left _him_.

* * *

One morning Ahiru's thoughts were troubling her so much that she couldn't even lie still, let alone sleep. She flew over to sit on the windowsill so she wouldn't wake Fakir with her restlessness—he had always been a pretty light sleeper. Ahiru's wings fluttered as her thoughts wandered. _Why... _why_ can't I remember what happened tonight? It was only a few hours ago, but... I just remember the transformation. It wasn't like this before, was it? _She stared out at the sky as if she thought the stars could give her advice. _I miss Edel,_ she thought sadly. _Her advice was hard to understand, but still... Odette is still _me_, isn't she? I mean, I know that she still loves Fakir. But _why_ can't I remember anything? Am I losing myself?_She let out a low mournful sound halfway between a sob and a sigh. And then she heard Fakir stirring in the bed. _Idiot!_ she thought angrily. _He doesn't get enough sleep as it is!_

"Ahiru?" he asked sleepily. And then, more sharply, "Ahiru!" He sat straight up and looked around the room, letting out a breath he had not known he was holding when he saw her in the window. "Damn it. You idiot, what are you doing over there? Are you nocturnal now, too?"

~No, of course not!~ she snapped. ~I was just... thinking~

She knew that Fakir rolled his eyes, even though she could not see it in the dark. "That's unusual," he said dryly.

~Ha ha~ Ahiru thought sarcastically. But she softened as she added ~I didn't mean to wake you, though~

"It's fine," Fakir told her, although his voice was still thick with sleep. "What were you thinking about?"

Ahiru hesitated. How could she explain to him that she was jealous of someone who was supposed to be her own self in a different body? How could she tell him she, a duck, was jealous because she still loved him? ~I was... thinking about Edel~ she answered after a while. Maybe she should have said that she was thinking about Odette so that he would think about her too. But right now...

Fakir rose and came over to the window. As he looked out at the early-morning sky, he said, "I still miss her, too." He paused and looked down at her, his dark green eyes turning gold in the early sunlight. "Idiot. It's all right to not be happy _all _the time." He smiled. "Even for you."

Ahiru felt her eyes welling up with tears. _This is why I love you, _she thought, but only to herself. _Because sometimes you're rude, or mean, or annoying... but you always, _always_ know what to say. To make me feel stronger. You're the one who gives _me_ hope. If you hadn't given it to _me_, how could I have given it to anyone else? _~Thank you~ she thought softly.

He looked startled. "For what?"

~For... for being here. For just being here~

"I told you, idiot. I'll always be here with you. Forever. No matter what."

And for just a moment, Ahiru forgot about Odette, and the enchantment, and the thought of being human at all. For just a moment, she could simply be with Fakir. And for that moment, that was enough. And anyway... Life is made up of moments, isn't it?


	6. Pas De Deux

A/N: I know I haven't updated in a really long time. I'm very sorry-I actually have the rest of the story planned out and a bit more written, but I've just been too busy (school and stuff) to come up with anything worth posting. So, as a reward for your patience (I love you guys!), I dashed off a quick Fakiru oneshot. It doesn't contradict the story, but it's not officially part of it either-I'll probably post it separately later. So, enjoy! (And I promise I _will_ post more story as soon as I can.)

Also, if you reviewed but I didn't answer you, know that I read every review I get, and they all make me _very happy_. Readers like you make writing fun!

One more thing-if you like listening to music while you read, listen to "If" here: www . soundlift . com slash epix (No spaces and a real slash, of course) It's _perfect_!

Disclaimer: Princess Tutu is not mine, of course (that's why this is on _**fan**_), and all of the dialogue is from the English dubbed version of the anime.

* * *

"Fakir!" Ahiru looked down as her pendant flashed.

"Ahiru!" He alighted easily on the bottom of the lake in front of her. Somehow, despite what he had seen, he had not quite been able to picture the tears in her wide blue eyes, her quiet frenzy as she struggled once more to remove the pendant—the last heart shard—from around her neck.

"Fakir, the pendant won't come off," she said desperately. Her normally high, clear voice was choked by her crying. Her hands worked more and more frantically at the slender chain around her neck as she tried to explain through her tears. "It's the last of Mytho's heart shards," she told him. "And Mytho asked me to give it back to him...but..." she paused to take a deep, shuddering breath. "Mytho says he wants to make Rue his princess," she whispered. "And I _know_ he wants to save her from the raven." Sobs shook her small body. "But it just won't come off!"

She looked up at him, hopeless, tears streaming down her cheeks even though he knew they were underwater. But she wasn't done talking yet. "All this is my fault," she said thickly. "Because I'm thinking that deep inside my heart I don't want the story to ever end. Pique and Lilie and Neko-sensei and the others turned into crows... but even after that—!" She broke off, unable to speak. Her shoulders shook with the force of her weeping, but her hands still clutched at the pendant like it was keeping her alive—which, in a way, it was.

"Idiot." He knelt slowly so that they were face to face. "You're not the only one." He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. It fit perfectly.

"Wh-what?" Ahiru managed.

"You're not the only one, Ahiru," he repeated, more forcefully this time. "I don't want to—no, the fact of the matter is that _nobody_ wants to see the story come to an end—nobody save Mytho himself."

He took her arm and pulled her up as he admitted, "I still can't write a story about Mytho either." He clasped her hand firmly in his—another perfect fit. "Stop blaming just yourself," he told her, more gently now. "Everyone is scared of being restored to their true selves. They're used to being given roles in stories that shelter them from the business of living." He held her—probably for the last time, he thought.

Then he drew her into the first steps of a pas de deux—one very different from their first. "The real you... is a duck," he said softly. He looked up. "And the real me... in the end, the real me has been protected since my childhood."

Ahiru made a little surprised sound as he lifted her. The memories that rushed back at his last words were almost as tangible to him as the feel of Ahiru's warm body against him. The story—the story that had killed his parents. He had not protected them; they had died protecting him. _I can't protect anyone_, he thought, not for the first time.

He looked up at Ahiru as he turned. "But even if that _is_ what I am truly like, I want to end the story once and for all. I want to protect Mytho... _and_ you...because of my own feelings, not some role given to me!" Ahiru let out a little gasp of surprise at that. "Even if I use up all of my power!"

"When that happens, I'll go back to being just a bird," Ahiru said miserably. "And I won't ever study ballet with everybody again."

"That's fine, isn't it?" As he said it, he willed it to be true—for both of them. "After all, that's who you really are." _Are you?_ He kept his doubts to himself. At least one of them had to be strong, and maybe for once it would be him.

"Yeah," she breathed, trying as hard to believe it as he was.

"And even after that time comes," he promised, "I will stay by your side forever." _Forever and a day_.

"Fakir..." her voice trembled as she said his name. Would he ever hear it from her again? And now she was silent as they danced. She was still not a good dancer—and now would never have a chance to become one. But this time he welcomed it—she did not try to lead, did not even try to dance herself. She gave herself completely over to him, and this time he _led_ her, instead of dancing for himself and letting her make a fool of herself. And he would not trade this dance with her for a dance with the most skilled ballerina in the world. He just savored it—her closeness, her warmth, the shape of her body, and that _glow _she still had when she danced that made him want to never look away. When again they came face to face, she was able to smile at him—and he was able to smile back.

"Let's go back to being our true selves now," he said. His arms wrapped around her waist and her arms wound around his neck as he lowered them slowly to the ground.

"Yes," she whispered.

"Let's compose an end for this story—not just for Mytho's sake, but for our own sakes as well."

"Yes," she said again, and for the first time since he had entered the Lake of Despair, he heard hope in her voice.

And they almost didn't notice when the pendant flashed again and slipped off, because suddenly he was kissing her. Not just because this moment now, with her held in his arms, with her blue eyes staring up into his own with such trust and tenderness, was perfect—but because it was the only moment they had. The only moment they would ever have.

And for a few agonizingly long moments, he began to doubt. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe this would just make it harder for both of them. Maybe he was trivializing her love for Mytho—maybe she still loved only Mytho and had never loved him at all. Maybe he was ruining their last perfect moment before the story was ended. Maybe—

Maybe she would kiss him back. He was surprised to find that her lips were just as eager as his, that her heart—which he felt through their skin and their clothes as if it were beating inside _his_ chest—was pounding just as hard as his, that somehow, tangibly, she loved him just as much as he loved her. And it felt so _right._ They both knew that they had no future together, not like this, but now they would have one golden memory; now they could both say "I loved, and I was loved, and we were happy" if only for a single moment.

Fakir broke the kiss first. It was the hardest thing he had ever done, but their moment was over now, and they both had work to do. Once again he moved to pull her up, but she remained where she was. She held the pendant wonderingly in both hands. "It came off," she said. "Hey... the pendant came off just now, Fakir!"

He smiled and reached down again to raise her up. "Let's return it to Mytho," he said.

She nodded and stood.

The "us" in that "let's" had never felt more sweet.

* * *

_ Fakir woke with a smile on his face—but it was only because Ahiru was watching him that he was able to keep it in place, instead of giving into the tears that burned his eyes. _Not again_, he thought, burying his face in his hands. But he knew that the dream, the regret, would not leave him for the rest of his life._


	7. Chapter 4: Dance With Me

Days turned into weeks, and every day Odette's dancing improved. By now Ahiru did not even remember transforming each night, so her knowledge of what happened at the moonlit lake was limited to what Fakir told her—and he told her less and less as time went on. And was more prone to blushing as he did so. She couldn't help being jealous of Odette—she had to try harder and harder to convince herself that they were really the same person. That she didn't care if Fakir was falling in love with someone whom he thought was someone completely different.

She was lying.

* * *

Odette, too, had forgotten just _why_ it was so important for her to dance with Fakir. She just knew that dancing and Fakir were the only things that took her mind away from her worries. She knew by now that she was not normal. Normal people had families, friends, homes—clear memories. She had her lake and her name. And dancing and Fakir. She was sure that if she could just dance with him, everything would be all right.

It had to be.

* * *

Fakir was running late the night that Odette was finally ready, and she was beginning to worry when he finally arrived, looking disheveled and slightly out of breath. "Sorry," he apologized, almost before he saw her. "I was busy, and I—" He broke off and just stared when he noticed what she was wearing—especially the ballet slippers on her feet.

The tutu was as moon-pale as the rest of the clothes she had received from Roth, but something about it felt familiar. The bodice with its sharply-defined sweetheart neckline clung to her in all the right places, and the skirt flared out in a circle of perfect ruffles. But it felt like something was missing in the back—not fabric, although the bodice had no back. But at her waist... Oh, well. It didn't really matter.

As she looked at him, she remembered again the time when she had danced with him—the most cherished of her few memories. She did not know when—maybe it was only a memory of a dream. But this time it was different. It was clearer, and this time she saw the reflection in Fakir's eyes of—_someone else_. It was _she _who was dancing with him, so why were his eyes full of a plain, freckled girl with a long red braid? Odette pushed the thought away firmly and blinked the dream away. He was here now. With _her._

"Fakir, will you dance with me?" Odette asked softly, ignoring both his lateness and his apology.

It was several moments before he was able to answer her. "You... dance?" he asked hoarsely.

She nodded. "Please?"

And they both knew before they started just exactly which pas de deux they would dance, although for the life of her Odette could not have told _how_ she knew.

_I'm not alone_, Odette thought, as they took their first graceful steps. _I'm not dancing it alone. _(What? How could someone dance a pas de deux _alone_?) _Fakir, can't you see that I love you? I love you. I want to dance with you for the rest of my life._

She did not know what Fakir was thinking as they danced. His hands and arms and body felt so familiar to her, but his expression was unreadable. She could not see what emotion was hiding behind his dark eyes. And that scared her. _Why_ couldn't she read him? He was the one constant in her life, the one thing she was sure of. Until now.

_What are you thinking?_

And then the moment came for her to jump. And she did, almost as high as she had jumped when she was... once before. But this time, Fakir caught her. For a moment she wondered vaguely who else would have caught her—or why there would be no one to catch her, but she dismissed the thought. She was with Fakir, and that was what mattered. _I love you. I've always loved you. There's never been anyone else_.

Just as he caught her, she finally saw something in his face—a brief flash of emotion, of recognition. _He knows! _she thought triumphantly. _He knows it's me! _(Who was "me?") _Everything really will be all right now! He loves me._

But suddenly he stopped. He set her down very gently and then turned away.

Odette felt her heart pounding and a flush creeping up her cheeks. "F-Fakir?" she whispered.

And for several long moments he stood there, staring like he was trying to memorize her face. "I have to go," he said at last. And then he turned and left her.

He didn't even look back.

* * *

Fakir didn't know how he felt as he half-walked, half-ran away from her. He wondered if it was anything like the way Mytho had felt as he regained his heart-shards—What is this? What am I feeling? _Why? _He was feeling so much that it seemed almost like he was feeling nothing at all.

He didn't realize until he was there that his feet were carrying him to the moonlit place where Ahiru had first seen him cry. Suddenly his knees folded under him and he ended up sitting under the very same tree. A part of him half-expected to find Ahiru there, her eyes round and bright with tears, her expression whispering that she was seeing him for the very first time. That she loved him.

But those days were gone forever. His Ahiru was gone to him forever—as a girl, as a lover. He had realized it as soon as he danced with Odette.

_His heart beat fast for a moment when he saw the dancing costume. And he couldn't help thinking of Princess Tutu as she asked him to dance. It took him a while to realize. He was too busy concentrating on guiding her through the steps—she was about as good at ballet as the girl Ahiru had been, which was no insult but was no compliment either._

_And then she jumped high, her slender body coming down light into his waiting hands. His gaze caught on her face, flushed and smiling._

That was when his whole world fell apart.

Because at that moment he realized two things that he had wished he would never have to admit, even to himself. The first was that, all along, he had cherished a crazy, stupid hope that somehow, _somehow_, Odette was really Ahiru. That somehow she had come back to him. And the second was that, as he should have known, he was _completely_ wrong.

Perhaps his thoughts weren't stupid after all. There had been so much that had been so familiar—getting to know her was more like catching up with an old friend that anything else. And her smile, her eyes—and, come to think of it, he had never seen Odette and Ahiru together—but it all vanished when he finally saw her dance.

She was all right at dancing. It was even possible that she was a better dancer than Ahiru. But she just... Well. Back when Ahiru had been a girl, even Fakir had had to admit (to himself if to no one else) that there was something about her. Even when she danced her worst, there was a... a kind of inner light, or something. That made even _him_ want to watch her and never look away. All of them saw it, even if they didn't realize. He remembered the first pas de deux he and Ahiru had danced for the prima of the Eleki Ballet Troupe. Out of a whole class of dancers, she had chosen _Ahiru_. Quite possibly the worst dancer in the whole class. Because somehow, when she took the stage, her joy and... her _love_... made it impossible not to feel what she was feeling. Because somehow her dancing spoke much more eloquently than her words ever had. Because, when she danced, everyone who watched her somehow felt everything that was in her beautiful heart.

And that quality, that inner light—whatever Ahiru had had... Odette _didn't_. And it tore him apart. Because when it came right down to it, the only reason he had started to like Odette—at least like _that—_was because... because he had thought that she might be Ahiru. And Ahiru was the only one who...

He should have known it was stupid. He was quick to call other people idiots, so why hadn't he been able to see how much of an idiot _he_ had been? He had recognized the resemblance after only one meeting with Odette. But after that... she seemed less and less like Ahiru. He tried to ignore it, but it was true. And when she danced with him, she had forced him to finally see what was right in front of his eyes.

Her eyes... He had not been able to help looking at her, one last time. Had not been able to keep from staring into her eyes, searching for something he knew he would not find. But... Odette did not have Ahiru's eyes after all. Ahiru's eyes were blue like a summer sky, full of warmth and beauty and deep enough to fall into for forever. But Odette's eyes were like moonlight reflected off a lake, bright and beautiful. But in the end, only a reflection.

A reflection of everything he had lost forever.

A reflection of all the things he had tried so hard to forget.

And he could never settle for a reflection.

* * *

It must have been nearly seven thirty in the morning by the time Fakir returned. Ahiru had been in a frenzy of worry. She had no idea what had happened last night, but when nearly an hour had passed after she got back and Fakir still was not home, she began to truly panic.

And she felt completely, sickeningly vindicated when he finally stumbled through the door of the shop. She flew down to meet him as fast as her little wings would carry her.

~_Fakir_?~ Her thought was desperate, agonized.

He picked her up, the action nearly unconscious. "I'm going to bed," he said wearily. His face was pale and drawn, and Ahiru thought she saw tearstains shining on his cheeks.

~O-okay~ she thought lamely. What had _happened_ out on the lake with Odette?

* * *

When he woke several hours later, he told her everything that had happened.

She was shocked.

She was horrified.

She was furious.

She was... _relieved_.

It had all been a dream after all—hopeless. She still wasn't sure why dancing with Odette had depressed him so much—or why he blushed and wouldn't look at her while he talked—but a small selfish part of her was happy. She would stay a duck and he would stay a man, but he would be with _her_. Only her.

But it was a very small part, and the rest of her couldn't bear to give up. Not if there was still a chance. So she responded simply, ~You should talk to her. She at least deserves to know that you're not coming back. And... you should tell her why. Even if you won't tell _me_, you should...~

"Don't tell me what to—" Fakir lashed out. But then he stopped himself. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "You're right. I'm just... not looking forward to it."

Ahiru gave him a small, trembling smile. _Neither am I_, she thought—but only to herself. _Because the only thing I fear more than the possibility that you won't go back to her is the possibility that you _will.

Fakir looked at her, serious. "I... I am sorry," he said slowly. "That it didn't work out. I know Odette is your friend, but I just can't... I just can't. I'll go talk to her tonight. I'll tell her why." He took a deep breath and flushed the brightest shade of red Ahiru had seen yet. "And then I'll come home and tell you."

Ahiru felt her little heart pounding. _He's going to tell me._ But the part she loved most was the part where he said he would come home. _Home_, she thought. _Yes, this is our home. With each other. We'll always have a home._

~Good~ she thought, and she smiled at him.

And he smiled back.


	8. Chapter 5: The Story

That night Ahiru nervously left to become Odette, and Fakir gathered all of his courage together to go and face her.

Odette smiled uncertainly when she saw him approach. "I... I wasn't sure you would be coming," she said shyly.

Fakir opened his mouth to speak, closed it, then took a deep breath and just said it. "After tonight, I'm _not_ coming back."

Her mouth dropped open in shock and disappointment. After several moments, she managed to say, "Are you going to tell me why?" She paused, then added with a painful attempt at lightness, "I didn't think I was _that_ bad a dancer."

"You're... not," Fakir said carefully. "Or, if you were, it—it wouldn't matter. At least not to me."

_Then why?_ Odette thought desperately.

"It's not your fault," he told her. His voice was rough with emotion. "It's... well, never mind whose fault it is. It's mostly mine."

"Will you just say it already?" Odette snapped, her voice shaking with sudden anger and unshed tears.

"Fine!" Fakir shouted back, throwing his hands up. "Like I told you before, you reminded me of someone I used to know. Someone who... someone who was special to me." He swallowed hard and looked away as he admitted, "I was using you."

Odette just stared at him. Now that he was finally talking, it seemed like she was going to get the whole story.

"I was—treating you like you were a substitute for her. I was using you to avoid facing the fact that—" A muscle in his jaw twitched. "The fact that she's gone. She's not coming back. And I couldn't deal with that. So I transferred all my feelings for her over to you. But when I danced with you, I... realized. That you're someone completely different. What I did wasn't fair to you, but..." He looked her right in the eyes as he said, "I feel nothing for you. I don't like you. I don't dislike you. I don't feel anything at all, because you're not... _her_. I'm sorry."

Odette wanted to shout, and cry, and slap him, and beg him to reconsider. She wanted to curl up as small as she could around the sharp, agonizing wound in her heart. But as he stood there in front of her, cruel but honest and truly sorry...

"I understand." That was all she said. All she could say.

He stood there for several long moments, saying nothing. Then he muttered something under his breath that sounded like, "I'm sorry, Ahiru."

_Ahiru_. Odette felt a flash of jealousy strike her like lightning. "_Ahiru_? Why are you apologizing to _her_?"

Fakir stared at her in amazement. "I... came to meet you because she asked me to. She's as disappointed this didn't work out as you are."

Odette felt a wave of confusion and hurt and broken memories swirl up and rush through her. "_She_ asked you to meet me? _Why_? What does she know about me?"

The surprise on Fakir's face was the most expression she had ever seen there. "She... was your friend. She sent me because she thought you might want someone to talk to. She thought you were lonely."

"Well then why didn't she talk to me herself?" Odette retorted. She knew she was being spiteful, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

She hadn't thought Fakir could look any more surprised, but apparently he could. "How... could she?" he asked slowly. "She's a _duck_."

Odette felt her anger evaporate as quickly as it had come, replaced now by curiosity. "But... if she's a duck..."

"You really don't remember her?" Fakir interrupted. "You knew her when I first visited you here. You told me how... how you met."

Odette shook her head impatiently, determined to ask her question. "If this Ahiru is just a duck, then who is the redheaded girl?"

Fakir froze, his face completely expressionless. After a very long pause, he asked quietly, "The redheaded girl?" His voice might have been able to pass for calm if it hadn't been almost an octave lower than usual.

At this disturbing reaction, she almost regretted bringing it up, but Odette pressed on. "Red hair. Freckles. Maybe thirteen or fourteen years old. The girl you danced with." She swallowed hard and took a deep breath to keep the tears back. "It _wasn't_ me."

"The girl—I danced with?" His voice struggled to remain neutral, but he couldn't keep it from breaking on the word _danced_.

"Yes," Odette whispered, frightened by the pain in his eyes.

"How do you know that? No one else remembers." After a moment, he said thoughtfully, "I don't think anyone else _knew_."

"I—I don't know," Odette admitted, ashamed of how stupid it sounded. "I just do."

Fakir hesitated, then said at last, "She was... my friend. The one you reminded me of. She was very... I cared about her very much," he said simply. "I still miss her."

Odette felt her throat tighten with sympathetic tears. "I'm... so sorry," she said at last. And she thought, _I should have known. It all seemed too perfect. But... I never had a chance. I never had the _right_ to love him_. After several long moments she said at last, "Well... I guess this is goodbye, then." She turned to leave—

And Fakir reached out to grab her arm. "No," he said fiercely. "It's not."

Odette looked at him, surprised and flustered. "It's... not?"

Fakir's expression was grim. "I'm not leaving until I know what's going on here."

"What _is_ going on here?" Odette asked curiously. Apparently something was far from normal here, not that she would have known. Fakir was the closest thing she had to a "normal."

"If I knew, I wouldn't be so damned scared," he said brusquely. "If this is... if Dross—" He stopped himself and shook his head. "You're apparently losing your memories, you live on a _lake_ and only come out at night—it's like Swan Lake gone wrong... but without the swan." He grimaced. "I'm half expecting to find an evil magician around here somewhere."

"Magician..." Odette said thoughtfully. The word stirred another one of her vague memories, but she just _couldn't remember_!

"...part of the story?" Fakir was muttering to himself.

"Story?" Odette asked. She was beginning to feel like the chorus in a play.

"Never mind," Fakir told her. "It's... I need to talk to Ahiru. But I'll be back tomorrow night." He smiled, briefly, and she felt her heart flutter. "I'll find out what's going on, I promise. Everything will be all right," he added, in a tone that dared the fates to contradict him.

Suddenly Odette's vision blurred and she realized that she was crying. Fakir looked startled, then concerned. "O-Odette?" he ventured at last.

She shook her head helplessly and tried in vain to stop, but she couldn't. Finally she managed to say, "I just... Thank you." She sniffled. "I mean, you don't... don't want to... I mean, you have no reason to care about what happens to me, but you're still... h-helping me like this..."

"I _am_ sorry," Fakir said. "But—I can't just leave you here. I..." He half-laughed. "I guess I have a thing for protecting people, and... Well, I've seen something like this happen before, and I don't want it to happen again," he explained, thinking of Rue and Ahiru and Mytho all at once. Then, to her surprise, he took her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. "This isn't your fault," he told her. "We'll fix this."

Odette nodded, but she was distracted by the sight of the moon setting behind him. It seemed significant, although she couldn't say why. "You should leave," she told him.

He looked surprised for a moment, then followed her gaze to the moon. His face darkened. "We _will _figure this out," he said determinedly. And then, very briefly, he hugged her before he turned to go.

* * *

Ahiru was exhausted when she got back, but she forced herself to stay awake until Fakir got back. He had said he would tell her everything. And something—perhaps some tenuous link remaining between her and Odette—told her that something really important had happened, and she desperately needed to know what it was. Had he really just told her he wasn't coming back?

She started as the door slammed open and she heard Fakir cursing. Before she had a chance to go down and meet him he was up the stairs and standing in front of her, dark eyes full of fire. "I have to stop this," he said, his voice low and angry.

~F-Fakir?~ Ahiru thought tremulously. _What—_

Fakir took a deep breath and sank down onto the bed. "I'm sorry, Ahiru." He stroked the feathers on the top of her head, apologizing again with the gentleness of his hands. "I'm not mad at you. I'm not even mad at Odette."

~What's wrong, Fakir?~ Ahiru asked softly.

"Your—friend? Damn it, I don't even know what to call her. Odette." Fakir paused, then said, "I think she's from a story."

Ahiru gasped despite herself. The idea had not occurred to her—it was just a spell, wasn't it—but what if it was true? She had never actually encountered magic outside of the story. She was suddenly afraid for both Odette and herself. Had she entered a story without knowing it? But Drosselmeyer was gone, wasn't he? What other Spinner could have...

~Fakir?~ Ahiru began hesitantly, ~_you_ didn't try to...~

"To what?" Fakir asked angrily. "You think I'd mess around with _magic_? After everything we went through?"

~W-well, no, but... who could it be? I don't want it to be...~ She shivered. ~I'm scared~

His face softened again. He picked her up and held her as he admitted, "I'm scared, too. That's why I'm not going to just leave her. I have to find out exactly what's going on and—and stop it. Something just _isn't right._"

~Thank you, Fakir~

He flushed. "Wh-why are you thanking me?"

~Because she—she is my friend. And I don't want anyone else to be hurt by a story either~

"About that... is she really your friend?" Fakir asked seriously.

~What do you mean?~ Ahiru answered, surprised. Had Odette said something to—

"She doesn't remember you," Fakir said bluntly. "She seems to be losing all her memories—she doesn't remember ever being anywhere but the lake." He took a deep breath and held it for several seconds. Then he said, "But she remembered... _you_." He turned away as he spoke, so she couldn't see his face.

~Remembered me? But you just said...~

"She remembered Ahiru!" Fakir burst out. He hesitated. "The _human_ Ahiru."

~The... _what_?~ _How would Odette know... She forgot me, but remembered... I don't understand!_

Fakir did not repeat what he had said. "I'm going back tomorrow night," he told her. "I'm going to ask her about—I want to find out exactly what she does remember. When I talked to her tonight... I wasn't thinking very clearly," he admitted, obviously embarrassed.

* * *

Shortly after that, they went to bed, but once again Ahiru couldn't sleep. _What's _happening_? Is it really a story? _she wondered anxiously. _I have to talk to Roth. Tomorrow night I'll go early and ask... This _wasn't _supposed to happen! Odette was supposed to be _me_, but now everything is all so... What should I _do_?_

"Ahiru!"

She looked up, startled, and realized that Fakir was still asleep. He didn't talk in his sleep often, but tonight... He tossed and turned, beginning to sweat as his dream intensified. A nightmare?

"No—no, stop it! Stop it! _Ahiru!_"

As tears fell from his closed eyes, she realized what he was dreaming about. The end of Mytho's story. He hadn't had this nightmare for a while, but she supposed he hadn't been thinking about it much—until tonight.

"_No._" His voice broke.

She hopped closer and quacked loudly into his ear. ~Fakir! Wake up!~

He woke immediately and sat up in bed, breathing hard. Tears and sweat mingled on his face, and Ahiru felt her own eyes welling up.

Fakir's eyes found her in the darkness and then looked away. "I'm sorry," he said hoarsely.

~No, Fakir...~ Ahiru fluttered closer to him, reached up to him with one feathered wingtip. ~It's not your fault~ They both knew she wasn't talking about the nightmare. ~You did everything you could~

"I know," he answered. "_But it wasn't enough_."

Ahiru stared at him, dumbfounded. She had known that he felt—that he, too— But he had never said anything like this before. ~O-of course it was enough~ she thought shakily. ~You saved me and Mytho and Rue and everyone, you ended the story...~

"Did I really save you, Ahiru? Did I?"

And Ahiru found she couldn't answer him.


	9. Chapter 6: A Human Girl

~Roth!~ Ahiru's voice shook slightly with apprehension. ~I need to talk to you!~

He stepped calmly out of the air in front of her. She, too, took it in stride—she had seen too many strange things to be put off by something like that—but something about his expression sent a chill rippling down her short spine. He did not seem to like her angry tone. "Yes, little duck? Is there something else you want?"

Ahiru shoved down her sudden new fear and her old uneasiness and forced herself to sound strong. ~I want _answers_~ she told him.

He looked unimpressed with her show of defiance. "If you want answers, I'll need some questions," he said dryly.

Ahiru blushed. This was not going as planned. As she grew flustered, all of her questions tumbled out in a rush. ~What did you do to me? Did you write this? Who is Odette? Is she me? What's happening to us? Why—What do you wa—I mean—?" She faltered and came to a halt as Roth continued to stare expressionlessly at her.

"If I understand you correctly, you seem uncertain as to the nature of the spell I placed on you and its effect on your personal identity. Is that correct?"

~Y-yes~ Ahiru stammered. She grew hot under her feathers and Roth's cool clear gaze.

"Do you remember what I told you this spell was going to do?"

~Make me human again?~

"There was no 'again' involved. I said that I would turn you into a human. Yet you seem to be under the strange misapprehension that I intended to simply give you a human body."

Ahiru felt another chill. ~What do you mean, 's-simply give me a human body'?~

Roth's tone turned insultingly patronizing, as though he were explaining for the twelfth time that one and one made two, but Ahiru was too confused to be insulted by it. "Perhaps you do not know this, little duck, but every living thing in this world has two parts—a body and a soul. I told you that I would turn you into a human—in other words, that I would turn your duck body and duck soul into a human body and a human soul."

Ahiru was speechless. She tried to wrap her mind around this new revelation, but as simply as Roth had put it she still could not understand. Or rather, she thought she could understand it. She just didn't know what it meant for _her_.

"You expected to stay exactly the same." Roth laughed—a laugh that was all the more frightening because nothing about it sounded evil. In fact, it was a great deal like the way Fakir laughed when she did something silly. Almost. _This_ laugh had no love in it. "I rather thought you had realized it when you named Odette." His mouth twisted slightly around the name, but Ahiru did not notice it. "I never told you that you had to give her a name other than your own. You were the one who decided that she was different from you."

~B-but~ Ahiru spluttered helplessly, ~but you said I couldn't tell anyone!~ _Wouldn't using my real name have counted as telling Fakir who I was?_

"When I said that, I did not realize that there were already others who knew you—at least not by name." Roth's voice was icy. "I did not realize that there was already a man who loved you. Your former human self is the one you thought him in love with, is it not?"

~I—I...~ _Was I really that obvious?_

"And now you find yourself relieved that he has not, after all, fallen in love with Odette. After all, now the change is complete. You and she have nothing in common except raw material. And, of course—" here he laughed again, a sound like cracking ice—"your foolish love for a man who cannot love either of you."

Ahiru was too shocked to cry. _We have nothing in common. _Nothing_ in common_. The words repeated themselves over and over again in her mind, as cold and dull and insistent as a steady rain. She felt strange and confused and somehow unclean. How had she gotten mixed up in bodies and souls and this other girl who wasn't her? _Nothing in common... except your foolish love for a man who __cannot love either of you._

"Would you perhaps like to reconsider my earlier offer?" Roth asked silkily.

~Earlier...?~

His golden eyes flashed. "Marry me," he said. Once again she was reminded of Neko-sensei's threats, but the incongruity of his pathetic dreams and Roth's absolute power made her want to laugh and scream at the same time. "If you marry me, you can forget all this. Your old love. Your old life. Give yourself up to me. Become Odette for good, with no vain regrets. Let me be your life." He paused. "Eventually you will even forget the boy."

As he spoke, Ahiru felt her emotions swirling like a storm at sea, tossing her about and stealing her breath away. Roth's last words were like a lightning strike. ~Never!~ she shouted. ~I will never, ever, forget Fakir! _Never!_~ Trying to imagine ever forgetting Fakir was like trying to imagine what it would be like forgetting to breathe. He was the only reason she had agreed to Roth's deal in the first place—and the only person that she couldn't live without. _Forever_, she thought. _Just like he promised. I'll need him for forever._

Roth's eyes in that moment were the most terrifying thing she had ever seen. Once again she was reminded irresistibly of a hawk closing in on its prey—except that hawks do not usually have a personal score to settle. "Very well. I wish you luck, then. You still have a chance to be with him—if he swears his everlasting love." His eyes flashed. "Just be sure to keep him away from the other girls. Are you familiar with Swan Lake?"

~Y-yes...?~ Ahiru managed.

Roth smiled coldly. "Then you know what will happen if he swears his love to another."

Ahiru thought back to the performances of Swan Lake she had seen... there were so many different endings... Suicide, battle, magical storms, separation forever, never seeing one another again... but one had had a happy ending after all... ~Wh-which one?~ she ventured.

"If your boy betrays you, I suppose you'll find out." He glanced up at the sky. "Speaking of which... If he's coming to meet Odette, the moon's rising now."

Ahiru looked up at the pale, slender moon, now casting its first silvery rays over the far edge of the lake. She shivered. How could she do this _now_? Knowing that Odette really wasn't her at all? Could she...

"Your boy's coming now."

Ahiru looked frantically toward the trees—sure enough, she saw Fakir's form and heard him cursing as his shirt caught on a thorny bush. She hadn't transformed yet—was it too late now? Was Roth really going to let her transform in front of him? She had not dared to dream of such a chance since her first night. Still... could she do it? Give up _herself_? Fakir was expecting her... no, Odette... Fakir was... Fakir was here! Maybe she would be able to let him see her transform. Maybe if he only knew...

She squared her small shoulders and swam out onto the lake. Fear and anticipation sharpened her senses and made the water feel as cold and solid as ice as she paddled toward the reflection of the moon. She paused for just a moment when she reached it. _I have to do this... I have to! _she told herself.

But she was frozen.

Just at that moment, Fakir broke out of the trees. Her heart skipped once and then started to beat again. _For Fakir. _As always, Fakir was her strength. _For a chance to be with him. _Ahiru took a deep breath and plunged down into the moonlight.

* * *

Fakir licked the blood from the scratch on his wrist as he stepped out of the woods. He was still distracted by the question of where Ahiru was. She had told him earlier that she wanted to go out for a while, but he'd expected her to be back by the time he left to talk to Odette. Actually... never mind, she'd said that she would be gone—

His eyes fell on the lake, and his breath caught in his throat. The whole lake was illuminated by a brilliant silver-white glow emanating from its center. The light intensified until it almost blinded him, and suddenly the figure of a great white swan burst through the lake's surface, its long neck stretching up toward the stars, its wings outspread as though it was trying to embrace the universe. It screamed, a piercing ululation that might have been musical if it had not been so painfully high. Then, in a flash of light so bright his vision went white for several seconds, the swan vanished—leaving Odette standing dazedly in its place.

"What the hell—" Fakir dropped to his knees as his legs gave way. He had suspected some kind of magic, some story, some trick, but to _see_ it... Memories flashed before his eyes.

_ Red light. Pain. Useless. A failure. _

_ A white bird, shining wings outspread. Princess Tutu. Ahiru. She came for me. Why can't _I _ever save someone? _

_ Mytho on his swordpoint. Ahiru on the ground. Drosselmeyer grinning. Why won't my hand stop writing?_

"No... not... not again... NO!" He shoved himself back to his feet, eyes blazing. "Where are you?" he shouted. "You son of a bitch, where are you? Damn you, _why can't you just leave us alone_?"

He received no answer, and when he came back to his senses he realized that Odette, now standing in the shallows near the shore, was staring at him with a combination of fear and horror on her far too pale face. "F-Fakir?" she said weakly. "Your—your hands..."

Fakir looked down at his hands and saw that they were shaking. He took a deep breath and forced himself to still them. "I—I'm sorry," he said slowly. "I shouldn't have..." Odette came towards him, as carefully as if he were a wild animal she might startle away. She reached out hesitantly to touch his cheek.

"You're... crying," she whispered. She gasped softly when Fakir suddenly pulled her into his arms and held her tight. She felt him shaking, and it terrified her. Fakir was the one thing she knew—to her he was normalcy and constancy and strength, and... he was _crying_. She had wished she could hold him, but not like this. Never like this! She was too shaken to cry with him. In a world where Fakir could cry, what else could happen? What could she trust now that there was nothing to ground her? She felt dizzy, lightheaded, as though at any moment she might faint or fall or simply float into the sky and vanish.

Vanish... She cried aloud as a sudden memory flashed through her.

_ It's all over, it's ending... I've fulfilled my task. Now I'll never be with him ever again. If it weren't for Fakir, I could never have given him up... I never realized that it would be so painful to vanish. It hurts—! Red light... _

A brilliant red glow shattered Odette's vision. "St—stop... Stop it! It's not me! _That isn't me!_"

Fakir grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her back so he could see her face. His own face was tearstained, but it no longer showed any sign of weakness—only fierce determination. "_Who_ isn't you?"

She shuddered with the borrowed pain. "I don't know! But she's vanishing—she's disappearing—_I don't want to disappear_!" she cried out. She shut her eyes tightly, then took a deep, shaky breath and opened them again. Tears trembled on her eyelashes. "Everything's cold and red and bright, and she's vanishing..."

Fakir's grip on her shoulders loosened slightly as he thought. _She remembers vanishing... That sounds like... And then just now I saw her as a swan..._ He looked into Odette's shining blue eyes. "Does the name 'Princess Tutu' mean anything to you?" he asked her. _Is it possible that somehow... Could she be the _real_ Princess Tutu? _A faint, mocking voice in the back of his mind wondered innocently what he intended to do if she was. He ignored it. A lead was a lead—he'd figure the rest out later.

"Princess..." Another memory. _A face reflected in a pair of golden eyes._ "Princess Tutu... '_I want to know_...'" But as hard as she tried to hold onto it, the memory faded as quickly as it had come. "I don't know," she said miserably.

"_Damn_. Ahiru's eyes, Tutu's memories... Who _are _you?" His eyes were dark, unfocused. He was not asking her. "It's Drosselmeyer, it has to be, but... why? He left, he _left_, the story was _over_... But... if it's him, why hasn't he—?" He shook his head angrily.

Odette simply stood there, more confused than she had ever been. She had no idea who these people were that he was talking about or why he was so angry that she had remembered something. Her gaze traveled up to the sky as Fakir continued muttering to himself. "The moon is beautiful tonight," she said to herself. _The moon is always beautiful. _Her mind drifted away from Fakir and the problems that supposedly involved her, and she basked in the fading silver light. "But in a few days it will be gone..."

Fakir suddenly turned back to her. "Days. What do you do during the day?"

"During the day?" She had a vague idea of what a day was—blue skies and golden light—but... "I—during the day, I..." She looked up at him with wide eyes. How did she _know_ what a day was? How had she never—"I don't know,"she said at last. I've never had a day before."

He stared at her. "You've never—?"

She shook her head helplessly.

Fakir's eyes narrowed. "What would happen if I stayed after sunrise?"

Odette's eyes widened. She felt nauseous. "No, don't. You can't."

"Why?" Fakir's voice was almost a growl.

She took half a step back. Her legs suddenly shook under her weight. "I don't know, I don't know! It would just be wrong!" She looked at the sky, then the lake. The moonlight was almost gone from the lake. "Go now, please. Go! You have to go!"

He stared at her. "There's no way in hell." The words were barely out of his mouth before he was yanked upwards into the air, as if by an invisible hand. "What the—?" He choked as the collar of his shirt yanked tight against his throat.

"No, don't!" She meant it to be a scream, but it came out more like a whisper. "Stop it, don't hurt him, stop!"

Suddenly Fakir was flying through the air, as if a huge hand was tossing him away from the lake. He landed unconscious at the edges of her vision, and then Odette remembered no more.

* * *

When Fakir regained consciousness, it was well past sunrise. "What—" He cursed as he remembered. He felt his head cautiously, but was surprised and slightly disturbed when he did not even find a bruise. He must have landed pretty hard, but... "Damn it, what don't you want me to see?" he seethed. Why was Drosselmeyer... _Come to think of it, that doesn't seem like him. Didn't he love telling all of us the ending in advance? Why is he keeping secrets?_ The faint mocking voice opened its mouth to speak, but he shoved it aside before it could suggest that perhaps it was _not_ Drosselmeyer controlling this story. He was already as scared as hell, and he knew he would snap if he had to consider the possibility that there were _two_ people in the world with that much power and malice.

"Where is Odette?" he wondered aloud. He walked back to the lake, which was sparkling innocently in the daylight. "Odette?" he called. "Odette, come out! Where are you?" There was no answer.

Suddenly he saw movement among the ruins, and a girl stepped out. So Odette _did_—he gasped. _Her hair isn't blonde. It's red._ His voice cracked dramatically. "A—Ahiru?"

He blinked, and a moment later she was gone. _So I'm just seeing things._ He actually felt strangely reassured by this proof that, despite the lack of physical evidence, he _had _hit his head pretty hard when he was thrown away from the lake the night before. He hadn't imagined _that_, at least. Still, that did nothing to slow the pounding of his heart.

_I'd almost forgotten the freckles on her nose._


End file.
